Top 10 Qualities For a Healthy Relationship
Written by Leslie K. Hughes
Medically-reviewed by Dr. Monique White-Dominguez
Having a healthy relationship with a partner sounds easy in theory, but it isn’t always so easy in practice. There is work that goes into establishing a safe and trusting environment for each person in the relationship to thrive. And the work typically comes in the form of communication. In order to communicate well, you need to care for your partner as well as yourself.
If you’re looking to improve the health of your current relationship or are hoping to know what to look out for in a future healthy relationship, read on to find out the top qualities to look for when you want a healthy relationship.
The Most Important Qualities of Healthy Relationships
1. Respect for one another
Aretha Franklin sang it loud, and sang it proud, just as anyone in a relationship needs to do. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. It’s hard to have a healthy relationship if you just don’t respect the other person in your partnership or if they don’t respect you.
Respect is something that tends to grow over time more and more in a healthy relationship as new challenges are faced and you see how each other handles trials and tribulations in life.
2. You spend quality time together
As one of the famous 5 Love Languages, quality time is important in every relationship. It’s important to find that healthy balance of quality and quantity of time that you spend with each other.
Quality time often refers to experiences in which you both grow together, share hopes and dreams, and experience changes. However, quality time can also just mean having fun together and strengthening your bond.
3. You trust one another
Trust is one of the biggest pillars of a healthy relationship. Without trust, everything else will come crumbling down. And trust doesn’t just refer to knowing that your partner won’t cheat on you. Trust also refers to feeling confident that you can share your feelings, your strengths, and your weaknesses with your partner without them judging you.
Trust is something that is learned over time and certainly takes some effort.
4. You grow together
Life is all about learning and growing as individuals, but also with others. And your romantic relationships are one of the biggest parts of learning how to go about life. Each partner you encounter will teach you new things (good and bad), so even if you have a relationship that didn’t work out, there is something you learned from it that you can take with you to the next relationship that will make this one more healthy.
5. You are kind to each other
If you are in a relationship where you don’t feel like your partner is kind to you, or you find you’re not kind to your partner, it is time to move on. Kindness looks like knowing what your partner needs, helping them out, making nice gestures (they don’t have to be big), and generally being thoughtful.
Think about how you feel when someone is kind to you. It lights you up inside, right? Now, imagine how bright that light will be when you have a partner that is kind to you, and vice versa.
6. You can forgive one another
No one gets through life without making mistakes – we are human, after all. Thus, in order to have a healthy relationship, both partners need to be able to forgive one another. Now, you get to decide the limits of that forgiveness – what you may deem forgivable versus unforgivable, but be sure to be reasonable when determining that.
If your partner does something that bothers you, a healthy relationship means that you bring that to their awareness. And, if they handle the situation well, then you can likely forgive them.
7. You are affectionate towards each other
The longer a relationship goes on, the more likely they are to lose that “spark.” But, that doesn’t have to happen if you’re conscious of keeping it alive. Affection is one of the main reasons people enjoy being in a relationship – we all love to be loved.
Affection comes in all shapes and sizes, including:
Touching
A small gesture
Saying something nice
Any way that reminds your partner that you love them
This affection becomes increasingly important as you’re in the relationship longer, but be sure to show affection in a way that your partner best receives it.
This is another place where the love language concept comes in. Take the quiz to find out each others’ love language so you know the best way to show affection to each other.
8. You appreciate each other
It’s amazing how a “thank you” can go such a long way. Even something as simple as thanking your partner for grabbing your laundry out of the dryer is something you should be doing. You want to make sure you never take each other for granted, as that’s when resentment can start to build.
Show appreciation for the small things, but also be sure to voice gratitude for the bigger things as well, such as how much your partner means to you. Recognition is important in a healthy relationship, so work on giving that to each other.
9. Remain positive as much as possible
There are inevitably going to be tough times in any relationship, even a healthy one. However, you should aim to keep most of the interactions you have with your partner positive. This makes the relationship more enjoyable, more healthy, and more likely to last longer.
No one wants to be around someone who is negative and constantly nagging or complaining. That’s not to say you can’t bring up complaints or concerns with your partner – you most certainly should. It’s the way in which you bring them up that is so crucial. Think of constructive criticism and how you would want someone to approach you if they had an issue. Grant your partner the same respect and positive feedback.
10. Ask for help when you need it
Sometimes you need to bring a third party into a problem you may be having in your relationship in order to sort it out. And no, we aren’t talking about your BFF, your mom, or your Pilates instructor. We are talking about a licensed professional therapist.
Therapists who specialize in relationship concerns know the ins and outs of a healthy relationship and can help get you and your partner in a place where you can have that kind of love. If you are running into roadblocks in communication with the two of you, it’s a good idea to ask for help from a professional.
