10 Suggestions for Healthy Relationships
Written by Leslie K. Hughes
Medically reviewed by Dr. Ariella Morrow
In the spirit of the holiday of love, Valentine’s Day, happening this month, it seems right to bring up the topic of healthy relationships.
It is important to note that the idea of “relationships” doesn’t apply just to romantic relationships. The tips we are sharing here can be applied to any kind of relationship that you have in your life – friends, family, or romantic.
Healthy relationships of all kinds are a key piece of a healthy life. Much research has been done on the 5 Blue Zones, the areas in the world where people live the longest and healthiest lives. One factor that contributes to the longevity of these peoples’ lives is social connectedness. Social connection is linked to staying mentally fit and mentally young.
Thus, you should take the time to evaluate where things are at with the most important relationships and people in your life and make sure that your relationships are strong and healthy.
Here are our top 10 suggestions for a healthy relationship. Go through this list for each key relationship you have in your life to try and check as many of these boxes (better if you can do them all!).
Criteria for Healthy Relationships
1. Manage Yourself
This is the most important skill to work on and should be the top priority in your life. The more that you care for yourself, the more compassion you will have for others. By first learning to love yourself and take care of yourself, you have more ability to love others the way they deserve to be loved. However, it is important that you don’t expect perfection from yourself, and instead, you strive to always do your best.
2. Don’t Give Up On Them
In any relationship, times can get tough. Things can’t be rainbows and sunshine all the time – there will be times where you have disagreements, where things don’t go according to plan. And there will also be times when a key person in your life may not be able to give you their all, and that’s okay.
This is the time when it becomes especially important to stay committed to those that you care about. Every person deserves at least one person in their life who is committed to them 110%, so if that can be you, great. The key relationships in your life are always worth the extra effort.
3. Discipline Doesn’t Work
When it comes to the important relationships in your life, you must develop healthy boundaries and ensure that you avoid reacting with punishing or punitive responses when things don’t go the way you want them to. Empathy and boundaries are essential to the success of your relationships, and both are needed for success.
4. Create a Safe, Reliable Place for Reflective Listening
Providing the key people in your life with a safe place for them to speak is a highly underrated thing. It is up to you to listen and reflect rather than try to fix or advise those you love.
5. Acknowledge They Are Enough and Trying Their Best
Affirmation goes a long way, especially when someone you love is struggling. Provide them with the affirmation that they want by recognizing who they are, where they’re at, and the circumstances they’re working with. Everyone is on their own path of personal development, so you must tailor your expectations and realize some of your own ideals may not be feasible for someone else.
6. Don’t Take It Personally
It’s not always about you, so when someone you love says or does something, don’t always take it personally. When you get triggered, take the opportunity to examine why and try to understand it so that it doesn’t happen again. It may warrant a conversation, but remember that no one wins a power struggle and you shouldn’t insist on being right.
7. Examine the Roots
We are all conditioned to be a certain way depending on how we were raised. However, there reaches a point in our lives when it’s important to step away from the idea of “oh, that’s just who I’ve always been, and who I’ll always be,” and examine the roots. We all carry thoughts and behaviors that aren’t the best and when it comes to those you love, it’s vital to take a look at the negative behavior and find out why it’s happening. More often than not, it stems from unmet needs and/or unresolved resentments. So take the time to deal with that now, and support the ones you love in doing the same so that everyone can be successful.
8. Source Your Information From The Expert: Themselves
Don’t assume you always know what’s best for those that you love. Instead, allow them to show you what they need, listen with your heart, and be willing to change and grow. And learn to enjoy the process of it all, too.
9. The Only Constant is Change
We as people and the world around us are constantly changing, so it is important to always evolve along with them and never get stuck in a relationship or a mindset.
10. What Matters Most is Connection
As mentioned above, social connection is one of the pillars of a long and healthy life. Thus, it is key that you stay connected and never withdraw love from someone that you care about, even for a moment. Safeguard the relationship to foster its healthy functioning.
For guidance on how to keep your relationship healthy and thriving, schedule a virtual therapy appointment with a Sameday Health practitioner today.
The above recommendations are adapted from “Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting” by Dr. Laura Markham.
